Sip The Suck
So the gulps aren’t as bad
Quick read, not to be overthought
We all have a tolerance for things that suck. Some have a small tolerance, some large, but we all have it.
How do you know how big or small your tolerance is?
Emotional flexibility is a good gauge.
As a quick thought experiment, think of the last time something didn’t go your way. Think about how you reacted (or responded). From an outsider’s perspective, give yourself a simple grade of your behavior: you sucked (had a hissy fit, perhaps), did okay (harbored some anger but generally made the most of it), or crushed it (grew from the adversity).
Most of us have experience at each of these levels, but for now just think about where you generally land. Nobody’s reading this with you so check your ego and be honest.
Now let’s learn how to sip some suck.
Dark, cold & lonely
These are the primary traits of most things that suck.
They’re the ugly core of things like depression, bad or complacent relationships, and bad health. The upshot is that we can train in this ugly environment in small but forceful ways so they don’t add up into things that ruin us.
How do you train in this environment? Well, we can train here either psychologically or literally.
Psychologically, think about your frame of mind after an argument with a girlfriend, boyfriend, loved one, etc.. You feel lonely, pissed, sad or some combination of all the above. It’d be easy to find a lonely corner (or Netflix) and soak in this mindset until it passed over.
Or you could train.
Train by working out despite the harsh emotions. Train by reflecting on your behavior during the argument. Train by apologizing for what you said. Train by actually thinking about what the other person was trying to convey. Train by allowing them to be angry without smothering them with your own emotions.
Train by taking ownership.
You can also build your tolerance by training here literally. Take 4AM for example. It’s generally dark, cold and lonely in a very literal sense at 4AM. It’s for this reason there’s something sacred about operating in this time frame. Even if it’s just to wake up and begin your day in the productive solitude of silence.
If 4AM is too extreme, start where you can.
Train by waking up earlier than you currently do. Or going for a run when it’s cold and nobody else is willing to put in the miles. You can train by hammering on a project when it’s a gross, rainy day and the environment seduces you into complacency. Train by staying up to burn some midnight oil when everyone’s asleep.
Train the side of you that says it’s not worth it, maybe tomorrow. That side of you isn’t your friend.
Pick a few ways to train and experiment. Find what works for you — these will be the ingredients to your personal discipline. That’s something nobody can take from you.
When the time comes
When the real stress comes — a boss on a warpath, a resentful friend, a repossessed car — your tolerance will be hardened by the self-imposed stress you’ve been accumulating.
You’ll have calluses over your previous weak spots.
You’ll have an acquired taste for hardship. You’ll have an acquired taste for stepping up when others panic. You’ll understand the feelings begging you to fold into inaction are normal, but not final.
After having built a tolerance for things that suck through regular sips, the gulps won’t be as bad. Opportunities live in this frame of mind, and when things become a choice, you’re no longer compelled to obey unchecked feelings.
Life isn’t polished, and thinking things will go smoothly serves no one. Grit your teeth on some daily hardship and go against the grain a little.
Put it into action
Prioritize and execute — that’s the name of the training game.
If you’re in the market for translating these words into real-world, gritty training, take a peek at the program we put together called Power 60. It’s a dense and dynamic 60-day program that filters these lessons through physical training, inspired by a decade of fitness expertise, masters level psychological training & military experience.
We believe hard work pays off, after all.
